Old Missoula

TOUGHEST LUCK

Otto Siegel’s Balmy Pants and Yellow Shoes Are Gone

Missoula, June 22, – Otto Siegel is the most unfortunate fellow in town if his own story goes for anything. Last week, in his ambition to shine at the picnic of the Hermann Soehne, he purchased from a tailor a pair of ice cream pants. They were not ordinary hand-me-downs, but the hottest thing in custom-made garments that could be found in the city. Otto is not a man who goes by halves in anything that he does, and in the matter of trousers he was up to his usual class. The nether garments were things of beauty. They combined a suggestion of the proverbial lavender raiment, with a delicate tinge of baby blue, and they could be heard on the street long before they could be seen. In cut they were wide and roomy, fit for summer weather and picnic purposes generally. There was material enough in them for two pairs for an ordinary man, but, as this paper has often remarked, Otto is not an ordinary man. He is extremely extraordinary. So he got the trousers and was pleased with them, for they were the finest thing in town. He was so pleased with them that he put them on the other day for the purpose of getting used to them in order that he might not appear ill at ease when he goes to the picnic up Grant creek next month. And when he had them on he was the center of attraction on the street and wherever he went. He was all right in every respect. But his unlucky star was in the ascendant, and he had the misfortune to be called down town suddenly. He mounted his wheel without thinking of the picnic pants and whirled down town. Now Otto on a wheel is always a thing of grace and elegance, but on this occasion he was better than usual. He outshone himself. But when he was in the zenith of his elegance the wide leg of his trousers caught in the chain of his wheel and it was all off – the leg was off. It tore the whole thing out by the roots and Otto was compelled to seek refuge in a nearby saloon and send home for more pants.

Hardly had he recovered from the shock of this sad occurrence when he was destined to receive a harder blow than even this had been. He had bought a pair of yellow shoes to go with the trousers, and these had been saved from the wreck. He had the consolation of knowing that much, and he treasured the shoes as all that was left of his splendor. He would get up in the morning and look at them tenderly and then lay them away in the closet, all the while longing for the day of the Hermann Soehne picnic, when he could wear them. He had almost forgotten his grief over the trousers when the second of his accidents occurred. He was at work in the hotel office and was too busy to note all than went on around him. While thus engaged some rascal, whose identity is as yet unknown, went up stairs to Mrs. Siegel and told her that her husband wanted his best shoes sent down to him. Mrs. Siegel had no doubt as to which were the best shoes of her spouse. So she, suspecting nothing, sent them down. The fellow took them, but they have not been seen since and the man has disappeared too. Now Otto is wondering how he can go to the picnic.

The above article appeared in The Anaconda Standard on June 23, 1897.