Old Missoula

Courthouse Yarns – “To Be Taken Cum Grano Salis” – 1905

He Also Relates Some Wonders

Records Will Have To Be Produced To Make Them Believed.

Eddie Foy, the famous comedian, once made a hit when he sang in his inimitable style a comic song the refrain of which began with the lines:

“A duck can’t sit on a limb,

For she has not thumbs on her feet.”

But even without the mirth-causing Eddie, the idea contained in the lines quoted were generally accepted as true. However, there is one Missoula resident who has an entirely different version.

As related in Monday morning’s issue of The Missoulian, Judge Woody once made the assertion that he had seen a wild goose roosting in a tree, and despite all scoffings of unbelieving ones, he finally produced authority which made good his account.

A discussion of the judge’s story moved those in the office of Clerk and Recorder Smith to relate wonders on their own accounts and some of the statements made were equally as wonderful as the events they purported to substantiate.

Harry Stephens, who usually reserves his opinion to the last before turning it loose on an unsuspecting public, brought the discussion to a close.

“The strangest thing I ever saw,” he remarked, “was that of a flock of ducks, wild ones, actually roosting on the same tree. Yes, sir, they were there as thick as bees.”

The awful silence was becoming painful following his declaration when some one unwittingly permitted the faintest suspicion of a doubting light to appear in his eyes, which, being observed by the abstractor, caused him to proceed:

“There’s nothing wonderful about that,” he went on. “I was out hunting one time and was just about to capture a bunch of prairie chickens when they jumped into the river an swam across.”

No one spoke after Mr. Stephens finished, and some nervousness began to be apparent among those present.

Deputy Clerk Cave began edging toward the water bucket, where he secured a long draught to cool his parched throat, while Fred Smith bent low over his books to hide his burning blushes.

“Why, one time – “ began the abstractor, but before he could proceed Deputy Cave looked up.

“Pardon me,” he interrupted, “were you addressing me?”

Mr. Stephens did not state just where he could look for evidence to make good his talk about the ducks and chickens, and until such time as he can actually prove to his listeners, by means of a statement made by an authority of world-wide renown, subscribed and sworn to before a notary public, that what he said was true, his experience in the roosting duck and swimming chicken line will have to be taken cum grano salis.

The above yarns appeared in The Daily Missoulian on August 29, 1905.

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